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Do you want Italian or Chinese?"I responded with, "Hookers or food?" Food," She replied. "I wouldn't know how to expense the hookers."I countered, "How about 'Expert Witness?" And what am I to tell the auditors when they ask what area of expertise they had?" She asked playfully.I answered, "Forensic Knot Expert." You're kidding right?"I told her truthfully, "You could always try it. I read about this guy in Great Britain last year. He's a member of the International Guild of Knot Tyers & Forensic Science Society." Okay, I'll bite, how does that make a hooker an expert witness?"While taking off my jacket, I said, "Well, a couple years ago, before you joined the firm, I was on this case involving a man whose wife found out he had been seeing a prostitute. When I interviewed him, he told me the hooker he saw specialized in Bondage and Domination and that she knew more knots than a sailor did. I figured he knew what he was talking about because he was a retired rear-admiral in the navy.". Not sure why he asked, I truthfully answered "Yes". Soon I learned why—the state's bowling association was holding its 100th annual tournament in Henderson, and Hal, my teammate, suggested we get a team together and participate. We did, and that is how, while waiting around for our team to start bowling, I happened upon the Henderson newspaper and saw the obituary for a woman a few years my senior. Her maiden name I recognized immediately, for Janet Rainnie had been one of my dad's best students ... proof, my dad once said, that good people can come from Ireland. No calling hours, the article said, but there would be a funeral mass 11 o'clock tomorrow morning.Hal, bless his Irish heart, said, "Are you going?"."Of course not," I answered, "I'm never at ease in a Catholic church!" I will go there with you," Hal offered. "My wife might be impressed if I say I had communion, she thinks all we do is miss easy spares and buy pitchers of beer."And that is how I, with Presbyterian background.
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